Employee Information
Honorifics
Name
Employee ID
Suit Name
Position
Date of Hire
Hiring Manager
Mr. / Ms. / Mx. / etc.
Last, First (F. L.)
00000
Name Here
Regional Manager
4 months ago
Jennifer
Disciplinary Records
For any inaccuracies in the list, please contact Robot Resources to have them corrected, as they may affect your future promotion / remuneration changes.
- Fund Mismanagement, 4 mo. ago:
* Provided with a budget to utilize for developing his projects in the Central, within three days it was gambled away.
**RECORD UPDATE** (3 mo. 3 wk. ago): Gambling of the money resulted in the project's budget doubling. Further viability of this is being researched.
- Property Theft, 1 week ago:
* Found stealing company instruments in order to gamble them. Surveys should be preformed to make sure they are still in place.
Personal Statement
Your personal statement forms a part of your application to C.O.G.S. Inc. Should we find inaccuracies or discrepancies between your personal statement and the facts collected by our Suit Intelligence Team, we reserve the right to dismiss you without warning.
Your personal statement is kept here for archival purposes.
Lookin' for a royal fluth? I'm the duck you need. I am a mathter at twithting the oddth in my
favor. I am a thpinnin' wheel you can trutht. Needleth to thay, I am on point when I play my
thuite whether itth diamondth or clubth. Thith town ith full of Thuits who think they're mighty
withe, but you've gotta have an ath in the thleeve. With my luck, you'll alwayth have the betht
hand on the table--I'm the luckeitht duck in town! Take a chanth! Take a thpin! What could go
wrong? Put your betth on me, you won't be dithappointed! If the houthe alwayth winth, why not
make your company the houthe?
For Hiring Manager Use Only
For archival purposes the following fields cannot be edited. If any of the fields below need to be updated, please contact Internal IT Support.
Employment History
- Previously worked as a day trader.
Strengths
Unpredictable to Toons, abnormal degrees of luck.
Weaknesses
Equally unpredictable to co-workers, takes unnecessary risks, insane.
Additional Notes
- Under no circumstances is Duck Shuffler to be given access to the company funds or budget management.
- Mr. Brian is responsible for notable damage to Mr. Ruffler's internal system (see attachment).
* Due to budget cuts, the company was unable to pay for repairs.
* Do not allow Mr. Brian anywhere near Mr. Ruffler.
Interviewer Notes
- Opening Remarks
"This guy was like 7 minutes late to the meeting, totally unorganized! Didn't even like, do his hair before the interview. What a loser."
- Qualifications
"Knows like ALL about trading and risk taking. Could totally make for like some sort of stockkeeper."
- Closing Remarks
"Disorderly, and like alllll over the place during the interview. He's good at what he does though, I guess. Smells kinda like pineapple."